


I Don't Want to Dream (If I'm Not Dreaming About You)

by belovedstill



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Homeless Castiel, Human Castiel, Implied Castiel/Dean Winchester, M/M, Season/Series 09
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-16
Updated: 2013-12-16
Packaged: 2018-01-04 18:50:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1084484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/belovedstill/pseuds/belovedstill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set somewhere at the beginning of the season 9. Castiel only starts to grasp how humans function. The thing he enjoys the least is having to sleep and what comes with that - dream.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Don't Want to Dream (If I'm Not Dreaming About You)

**Author's Note:**

> written and posted by [Basia](http://www.casinthongs.tumblr.com)

The first time Castiel dreams it’s about ice and fire, angels and demons, Heaven and Hell. He dreams of the countless years spent in both places, listening to orders, doing his best to reach his superiors’ expectations. He wakes up as soon as he feels the dream!demons clutch at his feathers and rip them out of his wings. This night he cries, lying far from the other homeless people, curled on himself to keep himself warm. He would wrap his wings around himself to protect himself from cold but he lost them and they don’t exist anymore. What he wouldn’t do to have his wings back…

The second time Cas dreams it’s about white light, black smoke and red shine on blades and knifes. He dreams of blood and rage, and thirst of power. His consciousness returns to him the moment his dream!sibling’s weapon is about to pierce through his body. He feels the non-existing pain in his abdomen for hours after the dream.

Another time, the dream is of his Vessel and the life Jimmy had. Castiel sees smiling faces and a little girl who just learned how to walk. He sees white dress and black suit, and a pair of golden rings. He hears beautiful music that makes him want to cry because he recognises it. The words of the Vows being spoken to his Father echo in his mind even when he wakes up with chest clenching in remorse and temples hurting from all the tears.

Dreams hurt, he realises one day, and so he decides not to sleep ever again. It’s easier to say than do, though, as he finds out when he collapses for the first time. He expects to dream of pain and hate and shame.

Instead, he dreams of love and green, and the warmth of somebody’s arms. He smells leather and apples, and cheap soap. He hears music— the _classic_ one, but not the classical. He feels needed and loved, warm and belonging. He feels at home.

When he wakes up in the morning, contently rested, the sun is shining and no rain is falling down.

It’s a good day to come back home.


End file.
